Post-Rapture Headline of the Day

It’s Sunday. It’s rest day. It’s time to spend this day with our family. And it’s the day after Camping’s rapture. Have you double-checked your surroundings? Because we may be living in an alternate universe and the life and world that we knew has already ended. Okay that’s too geek.

As usual, I’ll give you a dose of my passion for front pages and headlines. This time, with my favorite paper next to the Philippine Daily Inquirer – the tabloid! Here’s something that caught my attention after attending the 6:00 AM Holy Mass. And this is being sold at the bakery near the church where we usually buy our hotpandesal every Sunday.

  • Bees attacked the Ninoy Aquino International Airport causing delay to some flights. Is this a sign of the rapture? I don’t think so. The Book of Revelations mentioned locusts after the fifth Angel blew his trumpet. But they sting like a bee. Like every girl in history. She bangs! She bangs! (Ricky Martin, pray for us.)
  • Have you checked your friends and relatives abroad? Are they still alive? Is their country still on the map? And what happened to Camping? Did he adjust the date of the rapture?
  • This is a serious stuff. Let’s have a crash course on Scriptures first before believing these Bible-freaks about the end of the world. The Book of Revelation, just like other apocalyptic literature books (like the book of the Prophet Daniel), was composed as resistance literature during the time of crisis. It was used as a “hidden communication” during the time of early Christians to stand firm against the persecutors. It is like the “Noli Me Tangere” and “El Filibusterismo” of Jose Rizal during the Filipino resistance against the Spaniards. So do not just believe these Bible-freaks about their (mis)interpretation of the Book. You don’t believe me? Go do your own research!
  • Word of the week: Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao’s “Malaswa!” (on her RH Bill-related opinion). And I think her critics would shout “extravagant!” or “vain!”. (How’s your Hermes and Li Biton bag Mommy Dionisia?)
  • 7-pesos dagdag suweldo sa workers. What can you buy at 7-pesos? What can you buy at 7-pesos? What can you buy at 7-pesos? (Make this your mantra. Repeat while fading.)
  • The tabloid is the best parody of the Philippine society. There is not much boundary between news and gossip, fact and fiction, and politics and show business. And there is always a sexy woman clad in a bikini to attract viewers – just like some of our shows on local TV. Crap.

And on a personal note:

  • I chose to attend the first Mass today. Hindi kasi mainit. And I want to see the sunrise on my way to the Church.
  • I’m not exaggerating. With the tugish-takish accompaniment and monotone keys, the choir earlier sounds like videoke. Seriously.
  • It’s nice to look at the photos of the would-be husbands and wives at the bulletin board of the Parish – and put them on a constructive criticism (Uy! Hindi nga? Ikakasal sila? Hindi bagay!). Forgive me Lord.
  • Today’s the Ala Eh Meet-up. I’m still weighing my option if I will go to Lipa or not. I have a class and a doomsday-ish exam to give this afternoon.

Enjoy the rest of the day with your family and loved ones. And thank the Lord for this wonderful morning. Or if you are an atheist or an agnostic, thank the cosmos the sun’s gravitational pull, and the earth’s inertia for this new day.

How’s your Sunday everyone?

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