Stranger

I blame it to David Karp and Morissey.

Imagine this scenario: I was browsing Tumblr while listening to the sad Bitish Pop anthems created by The Smiths. I was spinning Srangeways, Here We Come.

And I almost made the title of this blog entry Stranger, Here We Come.

For the first time after a year of blogging on David Karp’s empire, I felt like a stranger.

Most of the kids I knew on Tumblr went to this mass Tumblr meet-up called the White Day at Venice Piazza, The Fort. And obviously, based on photos and posts on my dashboard, they had fun.

I opted not to go to this meet-up due to some reasons: my excuse number one, I have self-esteem issues (weh?), and most importantly, I have class and I cannot find a substitute teacher to replace me (Gwyneth Paltrow, where art thou?).

So much for my excuses.

There are just too many new faces on Tumblr and too many new friendships and barkadahans have been formed. And I am okay with that. This just proves that tumblr is different from other social networking sites (It’s a blogging site in the first place).

And I feel like I don’t belong to any of them.

Yeah, I belong to this eLBikada-UPLB Tumblr Community but since I have been “away from them” for a while, I am no longer updated with the new happenings and to the new people/Tumblristas added to the barkada. There are just too many new faces and I haven’t met them yet (I have this selfish guideline that I will only follow a Tumblrista whom I met personally).

Should I blame myself for this feeling of isolation? Partly yes.

Before, I used to post personal stuff on my Tumblr blog. Back in the day when I was just like an ordinary dude who is trying to make a difference, one post at a time. And during that time, I feel “connected” with other people. Call it “cyber intimacy” but yeah, the good old days were better.

But now, I cannot just post anything personal on my blog. For security reasons, I decided to cap my posts to purely socio-political-satirical posts. And I am against posting nonsense stuff. I take blogging and the responsibility attached to it seriously. Yeah, 19,500 ++ followers (as of writing) can do that to you.

Fame has a price. If you can call it fame.

But don’t mention the word fame or famous to tumblr kids for they will surely abhor you.

I feel like a stranger on Tumblr and I am partly to blame.

Or should I blame my “serious and suplado image” on Tumblr? I have this gut feeling that people tend to avoid me because they feel that I am hard-to-reach and siplado because I post serious stuff.

Partly yes.

On the other hand, I am contented on where/ what I am right now. I may be a little jealous, envious, and bitter to these kids on Tumblr but it uplifts my spirit whenever someone posts a compliment on my inbox.

I am Juan Republic and this is me. I cannot just change myself because most of the kids are doing it. Right?

If you happen to read this one, let’s talk. I am inviting you to know the real me.

Thank you to the very much to the few individuals who were brave enough to bear with me, to talk to me outside Tumblr, and who knew the real me (or the other sidfe of me).

Thank you WordPress. I just have to let this out of my chest.

God bless us all. Padayon!